Psychoeducation · Trauma responses
Why do I still doubt myself when they're no longer around?
You might think…
“I'm probably getting it wrong.”
“Maybe I made too much of it.”
A closer look
If someone questioned your feelings and decisions for a long time, that doubt may stay with you even when the arguments have stopped. You might keep checking whether you remember things correctly, or ask other people to reassure you about small decisions. Trusting your own judgment again can be hard after someone spent so long making you question it.
What matters
Maybe even an ordinary decision leaves you wondering: Am I seeing this right? Would anyone else choose the same thing?
It can feel especially discouraging when the person who hurt you is no longer there, but you still feel the need to check yourself. Maybe you hoped that once the relationship ended, you'd trust yourself again. But the doubt you lived with for so long may not disappear the moment they're gone.
The fact that you still doubt yourself doesn't mean the things they accused you of were true.
A reminder
Doubting myself doesn't mean the person who made me doubt myself was right.
It may take time to trust my memories and decisions again.