Psychoeducation · Trauma responses
Why did I drift away from my friends and family?
You might think…
“I slowly lost touch with everyone.”
“I don't even know who I could call now.”
A closer look
Sometimes an abusive partner openly stops you from seeing people. Other times, your partner may question you or get angry after you see someone. You may start canceling plans just to avoid another fight, threat, or punishment. Over time, you may have fewer people around you to ask for help, while the relationship takes up more and more of your life. Shame and exhaustion can also make it hard to stay in touch. You may be scared of what will happen if you tell someone how your partner treats you.
What matters
Losing touch with people you care about can hurt on its own. And when you look back, it may feel as if every missed visit was your own choice.
Maybe your partner never openly told you that you couldn't see your friends or family. But afterward, you had to explain yourself for hours, or it led to another fight. In the end, you may have started canceling plans yourself. Or maybe you felt ashamed to tell anyone what was happening at home, or you were afraid your partner would find out.
You may still have missed those people terribly, even when you didn't feel safe reaching out to them.
A reminder
Losing touch with someone doesn't mean they stopped mattering to me.
Their threats and constant questioning may have cut me off from people I could have turned to for help.