Psychoeducation · Trauma responses
Why is it hard to make decisions on my own now?
You might think…
“I'm sure I'll choose wrong.”
“Even a simple choice scares me.”
A closer look
If making your own decisions used to lead to threats or punishment, even everyday choices may feel frightening now. You might ask other people whether you're doing the right thing, or give up what you want to avoid trouble. And if money problems, legal issues, or housing problems are still limiting your choices, the difficulty isn't only about past fear.
What matters
Maybe the person who used to control every decision is no longer there, but an ordinary choice still scares you. You might catch yourself wanting to ask permission, or worrying what will happen if you don't do what others expect.
If you used to be threatened, humiliated, or punished for making decisions, it's understandable that you still fear the consequences. You may know exactly what you want and still find it hard to decide on your own.
Your choices today also depend on what options you actually have. If money is tight, your housing is uncertain, or you have to consider your children's needs, there may be very real reasons why a decision is hard. Being told to “just trust yourself more” doesn't solve those problems.
A reminder
Being afraid to decide doesn't mean I'm unable to make decisions.
What I want and need matters too, even if I can't make every choice freely right now.