Psychoeducation · Trauma responses
Why might I be attracted to different people or feel attraction differently now?
You might think…
“I used to feel differently.”
“I don't know what this change means.”
A closer look
How you experience sexuality, intimacy, and attraction can change over time. Some survivors of sexual assault say that afterward they felt differently about touch, closeness, or sex. Some also describe changes in how they experience attraction. The way you understand and describe your own feelings can change too.
What matters
After abuse, you may have questions about your sexuality or attraction. Maybe you want a different kind of closeness, trust feels different, or you simply can't find the words for what has changed.
You may want to understand why you feel differently now. Maybe you feel the abuse played a part in that change. You can take that experience seriously. It's also okay if you don't see a connection. You don't have to find one explanation for every change. And no one gets to decide who you can be attracted to or how you describe yourself.
A reminder
There's nothing wrong with me if I experience attraction or sexuality differently now.
I don't owe anyone an explanation of who I'm attracted to or how I describe myself.
Sources and research (3)
- O’Callaghan et al. (2019; online 2018) · Navigating Sex and Sexuality After Sexual Assault: A Qualitative Study of Survivors and Informal Support Providers
- Katz-Wise & Todd (2022) · The Current State of Sexual Fluidity Research
- APA (2021) · Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Sexual Minority Persons