Psychoeducation · Trauma reactions
Trying to keep someone from getting angry (appeasement)
You may have watched their mood closely because you were afraid of their anger.
It makes sense if you tried to calm someone who scared you. You weren't responsible for their behavior.
What is it?
Appeasement can look like kindness, agreeing, or closely watching someone's reactions. It may seem like friendliness from the outside, even when it comes from fear.
How can it happen?
When someone is unpredictable, small changes in their mood may feel important. Trying to calm them may have been a way to prevent more harm.
Supportive words
Trying to calm them may have been my way of reducing danger.
That doesn't make me responsible for what they did.
What it does not mean
Trying to prevent someone's anger doesn't mean you accepted the abuse. Their behavior was not your responsibility.
What it might feel like
“Please don’t let them get angry.” “If I respond the right way, maybe it won’t get worse.”
Background and sources
A useful description of a response to threat. “Fawn” is not a standard diagnosis.
These sources relate to the topic. The explanation is independently edited educational content, not a clinically tested intervention.